So here you are, you met this wonderful new person. Maybe at first you were resistant and the other person kept pursuing you. Finally, their efforts paid off and you succumbed to their loving words and actions. You thought you hit the jackpot, that you were finally getting the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
Suddenly, out of nowhere and for no apparent reason, the other person begins to back away, taking longer and longer to return your phone call, email and text messages. At the same time, those wonderful words and loving actions seem to be replaced by a bit of snappiness, less personal attention, and an attitude of complacency or even disdain.
What happened, you wonder? What did I do wrong? What can I do to get this relationship back the way it was before, when this person adored me, constantly flattered me, gave me gifts, paid attention to me, and always showed love for me?
At this stage in the relationship, for whatever reason, the other person now has control and all you can do is weather the storm.
This is where self-confidence, self-esteem and self-love are essential for you to be able to make sense of what is happening and to maintain your own emotional stability. Knowledge is also essential: knowledge and understanding about the way the world works, the laws of attraction, what creates passion and desire, and what it takes to sustain an intimate, loving relationship. As the initial passion and idealistic view of another person wears off, one or both of you may begin to really look at the other person. What you see now may be very different from what you thought you saw through the rose colored eyes of passion.
As your vision of the other person gains more clarity, you may not want to rock the boat by explaining your internal changes. You may actually be pretending to remain the same — while inside, your thoughts and feelings have changed. The other person usually can sense this change, but without the clarity that you are developing. At this point, you may begin criticizing and finding fault with the other person. This is the point where unresolved childhood issues can glaringly block any further intimacy.
Relationships are complex and require a high level of self-awareness, interpersonal communication skills, and emotional balance to sustain love, affection, sexual passion and romance over a long period of time. If you believe you are ready for love, but realize that you are lacking some important skills, relationship counseling can help you in ways you probably cannot imagine. Decide what you really want in your life and then seek out help rather than struggling all alone. Love makes the world go around. How do you want your world to be?
Tags: Counseling Boca Raton, Couples, Intimacy, love, Psychotherapy Boca Raton, relationships, Sex Therapy Boca Raton
